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Content Warning: This page includes mentions of assault, sexual violence, domestic violence, harassment, discrimination, and other forms of abuse.
Content Warning: This page includes mentions of assault, sexual violence, domestic violence, harassment, discrimination, and other forms of abuse.
Taking on a leadership role in a project can mean that people look to you as a source of advice and support. In your role, it's important that you know where to point people if they come to you with a problem or tell you about something which has happened to them. We refer to this as ‘making a disclosure’, while directing people to relevant support services and care pathways is called ‘signposting’.
This page will take you through how to respond if somebody discloses something to you, and then lead onto key support services available to students through both York SU and the University so you feel more equipped if this situation arises.
It's also important that you don't take on too much in your role. Leading a student group is a big responsibility, especially alongside your degree, so take note of these support services and know that they are available to you, too.
What is a Disclosure?
What is a Disclosure?
If someone makes a disclosure to you, it means they’ve told you about something that has affected them. It might be something that has happened during your student group’s activities or involving one of your members, or it might be nothing to do with your group. It could be something that the individual themselves has experienced in the past or is experiencing at the moment, or it could be relating to somebody close to them.
Some examples of things an individual might disclose could be:
Physical or mental illness
Bereavement
Pregnancy or possible pregnancy
Sexual violence
Physical assault
Domestic violence
Harassment
Bullying
Discrimination
Abuse
Please note that this list is not exhaustive. However, no matter what the individual is experiencing or has experienced, there are people and services that can help them.
Managing a Disclosure
Managing a Disclosure
If someone discloses to you that they are experiencing something difficult, it can be quite challenging to know how best to respond. There are some key things you should try to do in this situation, and a handful of things that can have a negative impact on the individual.
You should...
You should...
Remain calm. It’s important that the individual feels that they are in a calm and safe environment.
Listen carefully, without interrupting, to what the individual is telling you.
Acknowledge the person. Say things like, “I’m listening”, “I believe you”, “I understand how difficult this must be for you”.
Express empathy. You could say, "I'm so sorry that this happened to you".
Reassure the person. Use phrases like, "You can trust me" and "You've done the right thing by telling someone".
Ask open questions which enable the individual to respond with their perspective and understanding of what happened. These questions start with what, when, who, how, and where. You can also ask, “Do you want to tell me anything else?”
Questions you ask should be for clarification only, not to try to get more information than the individual is comfortable disclosing on their own.
Ask the individual what they would like to happen next. Don’t make this decision for them.
Signpost the individual to relevant care pathways and support services. You can find a list of these on the next page (linked at the bottom of this page). Show them the different options that are available to them. If you’re comfortable, you could offer to go with them.
Respect the individual’s decisions. If they decide not to seek further support, or if they decline an offer for you to go with them, that’s okay.
You should not...
You should not...
Panic or show excessive shock. This can make the individual feel unsafe or like they need to look after you, when they are the one in need of support.
Blame the person. Don’t say things like, "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't drunk so much." Abuse, harrassment, discrimination, or assault is never the fault of the person who has experienced it.
Minimise the problem. Don’t say something like, "At least you're not physically hurt.” Trust that their experience of what has happened is real and valid.
Promise not to tell anyone. This cannot always be guaranteed in order to keep the individual safe.
Take control or investigate the disclosure further. Let the individual decide themselves what they want to happen next.
The exception to this is if you feel there is immediate risk of harm to themselves or others. In this case, contact University Security (01904 32 3333) or the Emergency Services depending on the situation.
Make unrealistic promises. Don’t say things like, “We’ll get them kicked out of uni!”
Ask for more detail. Let them share as much as they feel comfortable, and no more.
Ask leading questions. These are questions which imply or contain an answer, such as “Did they do X?”
Doubt what they say, even if some of their disclosure doesn't make sense.
Discuss the disclosure with anyone who does not need to know about it. When the conversation is over, check in with yourself. It can be quite distressing having a disclosure made to you, so take some time out to regroup.
Do not speak to your friends or anyone in your student group about details of the disclosure or the individual who made it to you. If you feel the need to express how you’re feeling, you can say something like "I can't say much about it as it was said to me in confidence, but someone told me something upsetting earlier and I'm finding it hard to process."
You can access help and support without identifying the person who made the disclosure to you. If you need to speak to someone, read the next page on efficient and effective signposting and support services.
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